


The Beach

by OtterMcKilbourne (p_3a)



Series: NaNoWriMo 2015 [13]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/M, Post-Theramore, jaina proudmoore has ptsd - post-traumatic stress disorder, mid war crimes novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p_3a/pseuds/OtterMcKilbourne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A concerned Kalec talks to Jaina about her relationship with what happened at Theramore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beach

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-write of a the Chapter 17 scene in the War Crimes novel. Some of the dialogue is from that scene; other parts of it have been re-written by me. All of the rest of the prose was by me. I recommend you read the scene before you read this fic.

“First a swamp, then the rain. One of these days, we’ll have to find a really nice beach.”

Jaina Proudmoore tried to carry the quip, but it fell flat on her lover’s ears. Turning to him, she took a deep breath and held both of his hands in hers. “What is it?” she asked - feeling cold inside.

And then suddenly she felt cold outside, too, plunged into ice water; but it was Kalec’s arms wrapped around her. She breathed again. Grounding herself in the sound of his heartbeat, she let her mind rest for just a moment.

This conversation… the way he’d called her out here, the way they’d walked in silence. It was all setting her on edge. And Kalec seemed to know it, too, because he gently pulled back to look at her.

“This war has taken so much from you,” he said, and of course she tensed. He continued. “And I don’t just mean physical things.” His touch was gentle as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but his words left her bracing herself. “You’ve grown so…”

“Hard?” Despite his hand on her cheek, his arm around her shoulder, she felt alone and small. “Bitter?”

He didn’t reply straight away. She tried to focus on his face, and not the thoughts crashing in around her mind; he looked sad. He looked worried. He didn’t look angry. If there was more to the expression than that, then Jaina was having trouble deciphering it. Eventually, he spoke again. “I wonder sometimes if we’re really doing everything we can to help you.”

She’d heard a lot lately - most of it from herself - about how badly she’d reacted to all that had happened. Not just that her reaction had been negative, but that it had been _too much_. That she was turning into a monster too, now; the one that Kalec had counselled her against becoming on the beach when she’d wanted to destroy Orgrimmar, all those moons ago.

So her mind tried to find some way to interpret the words Kalec had just spoken as the admonishment she’d been expecting. She frowned at him, then at the ground where their shoes were sinking into the sand. Then looked at him again. “What do you mean?”

“Hear me out, please,” he said gently, and Jaina clung to those words like a life-raft as the rest of his thoughts poured from his pretty lips. “You’ve been doing… really well. I know how hard these last few days must have been for you. They were hard for me, too, and I wasn’t even at the middle of most of these things. I can’t imagine how you feel. I’m just… worried that the worst of your feelings won’t end when the trial does.”

“Of course I will,” she snapped, without really meaning to speak. But he left her a silence to continue in, and she decided to use it. “Don’t you believe I have a right to be satisfied-- no,” she breathed, the fury welling in her heart again, “no, downright _ecstatic_ \- that someone who did such horrible things is going to get what he deserves?”

“I don’t think you won’t,” Kalec said, pausing to think before he spoke next. “I’m just… I’m scared for you, Jaina. I want you to be in a place where you can heal again. What that means is up to you. But… I don’t know if just the end of the trial will really get you there. What I wanted to ask was… is there anything I can do to help?”

Again, she searched his face, searched his words; looking for the insult, the patronisation. But she realised once again that her expectation that such things would come was from her own mind, and not from him. He was… genuinely, sympathetically… offering to help her. Just like he always did.

Water - hot, this time; tears - spilled down her cheeks, and she took a moment. It was such a simple offer, but it was something no one else had thought to say, until now. Not even Varian - her brother in spirit, who understood far more than most about what she was going through - had gone as far as to say it. Was that all she’d needed to hear? Was it really this simple?

 _If it was this simple to fix, then her feeling hurt in the first place was foolish_ , a bitter part of her said. But she realised she couldn’t do that to Kalec; reject his offer just because she felt bad about it having to be made.

“I don’t know,” she said eventually, in a small voice.  
He stroked her cheek, and when she dared to glance up, she could see the same pain in her heart reflected on his face. “I just want what’s truly best for you,” he said. “I don’t want to lose you, Jaina. I don’t want you to lose _yourself_. I--”

And then she kissed him, hard, desperate; and he pulled her towards him in the same way, making a soft noise in his throat and hugging her tight. It was as if he never wanted to let her go; and for just a second, Jaina let herself believe that was true.


End file.
